I'm always interested when people experience a failure of "willpower." How do we understand those things that we want to stop, but can't? Or want to do, but simply can't bring ourselves to do? What does it mean to say "I wish I could get to the gym" or "I wish I could stop smoking" or "I wish I ate less"? Aren't these things in our control? Why aren't they? How aren't they?

Often, the habits we wish we could shed serve a purpose for us, a purpose that we can't see easily. Often our most troublesome habits are themselves solutions to problems we don't even know we have.

Why can't you do the things you want to do? Stop the things you want to stop? What stands in your way? I'm curious.

Josh Wolf-Powers is a psychoanalyst in Union Square, New York. If something here resonated, get in touch.

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