Sometimes, it can be helpful to think of the circumstances of one's life—job, relationships, and so on—and the feelings we have about them, as, in some unknown way, all chosen by us.
This isn't to say that we consciously choose to put ourselves in situations that make us unhappy, that frustrate us, that may even torment us. Rather, it's to say that it can be fruitful to imagine that we have chosen to be in those situations, and to explore just what it is that we might get out of them.